Connection-Based Parenting - Part 1
Parents are people!
Kids are struggling in the U.S. right now - emotionally, educationally, and developmentally. It’s tempting to focus on kids as we seek to improve the problem - kids are more vulnerable, younger and smaller, and it is distressing to see kids in pain or floundering. We want to make things better.
But parents are struggling, too.
About half of American parents say that parenting is “fairly hard” or “very hard,” according to an Institute for Family Studies survey.
The omnipresence of technology, the pace of modern life, and the move away from more communal living, where close-knit communities share family responsibilities, are some of the reasons that American parents are struggling. Conversations and judgment about parenting, especially on social media, are also challenging for many parents.
Parents also feel pressure to make sure kids “behave,” which often means following rules and meeting parents’ expectations. I often hear parents say, “I tried XYZ parenting strategy, and IT’S NOT WORKING!” They might mean, my kid is still protesting, or still lying, or still yelling, or still struggling, or still withdrawing.
But what if following rules isn’t all there is to being a kid, and enforcing them isn’t all there is to being a parent?
What if parents could have enough support for helping kids grow up that they could worry less about kids complying and pay more attention to connection with their kids?
Shifting from a focus on obedience to a focus on connection and supporting development offers parents a north star for parents that increases confidence and provides a foundation for relationships through adulthood. It also acknowledges and works with - not against - a truth we know about kids’ and adults’ brains: we cannot think or reason well, or take logical steps when we are upset. Learning to soothe ourselves is a lifelong process, but one that kids need time - and adult support - to develop. And adults need support in order to support kids.
For a parent at home with a crying or yelling kid, feeling a little overwhelmed and thinking, “IT’S NOT WORKING!”, prioritizing connection might look like:
Sending a quick text to a parent friend for support before helping a child through a tough moment
Slowing down to notice their own sadness before attending to a kiddo’s sadness
Choosing to be silly and lighthearted for a moment, making room for connection and ease.
If we prioritize connection, what does “IT’S WORKING!!” look like?
Kids know adults are around to help them grow up and to support them when times are tough.
Children and adolescents develop the confidence to overcome difficulties they face.
Kids and teens become adults who know they are valued and who treat themselves and others with respect in relationships, in workplace settings, and in the community.
Cascade is offering support to parents now through Connection-Based Parenting therapy groups - the next groups start in April!
You’ll learn:
What your child’s or teens actions tell us about their emotions
What to do when your child cries, yells, hits, withdraws, or melts down
How to create cooperation that flows naturally from connection
Lots of stuff is more fun than bribing, threatening, and yelling with the support of other parents and two co-facilitators.
Click here to find out more or click the button below to register for our next group.
Sources:
The Youth Mental Health Crisis in the United States: Epidemiology, Contributors, and Potential Solutions written by Steven H. Woolf, MD, MPH for American Academy of Pediatrics, Pediatrics Publication: Volume 156, Issue 5, November 2025
Hard Parenting, Better Relationships: New Evidence written by Lyman Stone for Institute for Family Studies, February 2026
